Why is there a push to get back to ‘normal’ as if normal is always being jolly? What’s wrong with sitting with our feelings for a while? Should we aspire to be fictional characters who never experience sadness?

No one can exist without feeling sadness sometimes, and if such a person exists, I feel even more sadness for them. It’s essential to allow ourselves to feel the unavoidable stages of grief when we experience the loss of a loved one. This is the balance due.

When we share our life with someone and lose them, part of our life also diminishes. We’ve given pieces of ourselves, and now we no longer feel whole because the person carrying those pieces is no longer with us. It’s terrible, but this is how we know we’ve loved someone completely.

Perhaps in our sadness, there is a sentiment that can bring us comfort – the knowledge that we had the opportunity to love someone so deeply, and even when they pass away, they remain on earth because we carry them with us in some form or another. They’ve imprinted on our hearts, and we are forever changed by both having them with us and by being apart from them.

We must feel, whatever it is that we feel, whether it’s joy, sadness, anger or any emotion that makes us human. We should all find others who give us grace during this process and allow us to grieve at our own pace. Nobody should rush us out of the process or expect us to hide our pain for their convenience or comfort.

Mask

– By Christine Murrain

I wear a mask 

And many condone

Because It hides the frown 

I secretly own

There’s pleasant commentary 

I’m forced to accept

And sadness 

I’m encouraged to reject

I’m told “You’re so strong”

While they all move on

And indifferently return

To their own

happy homes